I think that, at the time you're showing someone what you're working on, your focus is on the content of the thing, and you want their focus to be on the content of the thing too, and that is validating. Whereas if their focus is on the relationship between you and the thing then they're not looking at what you're trying to show them.
Non-neurotypical, and fairly tired for thinking about this 8-/ I think there's a distinction between "look at this cool thing I did" and "look at me, I did a cool thing", and I am almost always in the first camp.
Also, if I'm gobsmack-amazed at someone having done a cool thing, as sometimes happens, that's almost always because I'm gobsmack-amazed at the coolness of the thing, and *then* that they've done it. Because if I wasn't struck by the thing, how could I be struck by them-having-done-it?
I mean, there's a calibration here, and there were things I was gobsmack-amazed by that baby-K did which I wouldn't have been amazed at if an adult had done, but in normal circumstances I think "you did *that*?" is way more affirming than "*you* did that?"
(no subject)
Date: 2019-04-05 03:26 pm (UTC)Non-neurotypical, and fairly tired for thinking about this 8-/ I think there's a distinction between "look at this cool thing I did" and "look at me, I did a cool thing", and I am almost always in the first camp.
Also, if I'm gobsmack-amazed at someone having done a cool thing, as sometimes happens, that's almost always because I'm gobsmack-amazed at the coolness of the thing, and *then* that they've done it. Because if I wasn't struck by the thing, how could I be struck by them-having-done-it?
I mean, there's a calibration here, and there were things I was gobsmack-amazed by that baby-K did which I wouldn't have been amazed at if an adult had done, but in normal circumstances I think "you did *that*?" is way more affirming than "*you* did that?"