kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
Two major things: Yet More Lung Tests (I get to find out results on the 26th) and pain clinic psychologist assessment (physiotherapist will be happening tomorrow afternoon).

So far so good on the fluoxetine -- I'm not now getting BV every time I spend more than about two hours using a wheelchair (I am still managing to set it off occasionally, but by "occasionally" I mean "when spending all day travelling internationally after a solid preceding several days of Out And About In A Chair", which is consistent with other folk I know seeing slooow returns to baseline after discontinuing mirtazapine due to unacceptable side-effects). I'm still under-medicated (in that I'm irritable and weepy), so that's not brilliant, but I'm seeing my GP on Thursday, whereupon we will bump up the dose.

Read more... )
kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
I started a new antidepressant on Monday. Read more... )


I saw respiratory medicine a week ago, for my first appointment, and it was promising in several respects. Read more... )


Gynaecology: ultrasound results not yet with my GP. I'm going back in a month and we'll talk about them then, or if there's anything particularly exciting in them he'll give me a ring. (There won't be.)


Pain clinic information session: less dire than I expected. Individual assessment as to whether I'm a good candidate for the group course to follow sometime in September.


Physio: still making improvements, though I'm (as expected) really struggling to manage the amount of physio I'm supposed to be doing with actually going into work, i.e. I've become much more inconsistent about compliance, which is vicious-spiralling slightly because of the associated increase in difficulty of doing the things. Nonetheless, podiatry are expecting to discharge me at my next appointment in September because of how much I've improved with them, and I think that's the right decision; chasing up physio for the rest of me is on the todo list but just... hasn't happened yet.
kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
  1. Oral-B Pro-Expert Clean Mint toothpaste. Blue, sparkly, and cinnamon-flavoured. I don't understand why it's called Clean Mint. It contains, as best I can tell, no mint, apart from a slight cold sensation. The flavour compound is cinnamal. It is blue and sparkly and cinnamon.
  2. UltraDEX mouthwash (previously RetarDEX). Optional mint-flavoured sachet. Absent the optional mint-flavoured sachet, it tastes slightly of chlorine.


(I am Not A Fan of mint-flavoured things if they are anything other than field/garden mint, in which case I love them; peppermint and spearmint are Not My Friends because, approximately, they taste too loud, and given that I am utterly unwilling to floss because hands and only reliably brush my teeth twice a day if I'm living with someone who will coax me on the topic at bedtime because executive dysfunction and also hands, my dentist is much happier when I am using mouthwash. I am aware that other people feel similarly about mint, and a partially overlapping set of people are in a similar position with respect to this specific healthwork. Here are the things I use, people, and may they bring you if not actual joy then at least diminished resentfulness.)
kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
i.e. hello everyone, I am home again and have been for some time, [personal profile] shortcipher has taken excellent care of me, North Middlesex Hospital continues to exist in the centre of a desolate hellscape as far as public transport to anywhere useful is concerned, etc.

Slightly more detail. )
kaberett: Grinning emoticon. (:D)
OKAY SO I have a 20-minute appointment on the 29th with my GP. To discuss whether a PTSD diagnosis might be relevant for me.

Consequently I have promptly forgotten all of the reasons I think it might be relevant! Erm. Do you feel like crowdsourcing concrete examples of Me Doing An PTSD so that I don't have to think 'em up myself? Much obliged.

(Here is absolutely not the place to get into debates about the validity of self-diagnosis. Like, if you want to have this fight, I will win, but right now is not the time. Okay? Okay. Find me after.)

nope

Dec. 25th, 2014 03:13 pm
kaberett: Photo of a cassowary with head tilted to one side (cassowary)
to the concept of taking my antibiotics four times a day at regularly spaced intervals on an empty stomach or at least an hour before food (all the rest of my meds need to be taken with food Or Else). Nope in general, but especially nope this week, just sayin'.

(It is a minor thing and I will get better!)
kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
  • Group Christmas dinner last night. Head of Group checked with staff whether it was okay to smoke inside the building. My coughing & throat were noticeably worse when he was more actively smoking the e-cig than when he wasn't (even when I had my back to him so had no idea what he was doing other than lung reaction). On the other hand, he noticed me looking twitchy so I've managed to discuss it a little... and awkwardly it turns out that he was already smoking less in meetings with me than with all his other students. Augh.
  • Lots of being-scared-of-things at the moment. Need to sort out what fears are which. The scared-I'm-crazy (wrt the smoke exposure thing) vs the scared-of-accidentally-dating vs just being so tired again. (Actually, I just need to write that post about last week's Elementary, I think, to discuss this more; right, that's why I wasn't going to do that here.)
  • Housemate is home. <3
  • Lunch with my mum in the NHM was nice (she was there for work and it's right next door, so).
  • I am having so many feelings about Stray Italian Greyhound (god I just want to lay down/these colors make my eyes hurt/this feeling calls for everything that I am/not//I’m not that kind/I’m so good at shooting down any notion/this tired world could change) and also a bunch more about Least Complicated (I'm just a mirror of a mirror of myself)
  • Everything hurts pretty consistently at the moment, for reasons I am not at all clear on, and I am just. so. tired.
  • Okay, I will get up the national rail website to prompt myself to sort out tickets to York for later this month, and then I will listen to Never Look Away again, and then I will head down to lab and do a five-minute job and then I will come back up here and try to get caught up with paperwork and then I will do another fifteen minutes in lab. Ugh. Everything is slow and difficult, and executive function isn't; SAD, I think.

Good news!

Nov. 13th, 2014 12:03 pm
kaberett: a patch of sunlight on the carpet, shaped like a slightly wonky heart (light hearted)
I have a significant vitD deficiency! (I'm at ~23 units, versus bottom of the normal range at 80 units). Ergo we're going to Make Supplementation Happen, and this will hopefully result in less fatigue and better-managed depression. 25 tablets a week for the next ten weeks, then retest and hopefully drop down to a more sensible prophylactic dose...
kaberett: a patch of sunlight on the carpet, shaped like a slightly wonky heart (light hearted)
0. PHILAE. xkcd on the topic is fantastic. As we approached landing o'clock, the rest of the kids in my pod gathered around the person with the most monitors (three goodness knows why) and we watched the live coverage en masse, on the grounds that anyone who didn't want to know about SPACE ROBOT LANDING should probably not be on an open-plan floor full of geology PhD students. I have done some small cries - my feelings about space robots are v similar to my feelings about life boats. Quoth my supervisor, on the topic of the live coverage, "This is like some messed-up space version of Eurovision - there's that lady who came on stage and was all 'and now, Germany...'". :D

1. We have changed ISP; the switchover will happen on the 24th, at which point I might have a more reliable internet connection at home (as of this morning still no connectivity, nor has there been for a week).

2. I am listening to Hymn of Acxiom on loop, partly because of something [personal profile] recessional said and partly Just Because; I am currently comparing-and-contrasting with Collecting You by the Indigo Girls.

3. Last night I made mattar paneer for the first time; some things I would change, but fundamentally a plausible thing (I was genuinely baffled by the oddly specific quantities in many recipes I found - 6-7 cashew nuts? really???) that I can make again in future.

4. Also pear-and-cinnamon-and-hazelnut brownie! Much as previously discussed, only this time I stuck in a good teaspoon of ground cinnamon, coarsely diced two slightly underripe pears to have small lumps, didn't add any extra sugar, and replaced 100g of the flour with roasted hazelnut meal. Friend-whose-face-I-get-to-put-my-face-on approved.

5. ... friend-whose-face-I-get-to-put-my-face-on. During yesterday's conversation I realised to my horror that in much the same sense that vocal conversations can suffer from miscommunications arising from ambiguous or incorrect bracketing, the ways I communicate involve meaningful whitespace. (This is clearly not unique to me, but I was briefly very distressed that spoken interactions involve meaningful whitespace, because it was the thing that scared me off python for years. :-p)

6. FWFIGTPMFO fixed the lights in the kitchen -- I had replacement bulbs, but I'd had about five people (including myself) look at the wretched light fittings and be completely baffled as to how to extricate them; this is something we have been trying and failing to fix since we moved in at the beginning of January.

7. [personal profile] sebastienne enthusiastically livetexting me reactions to Orphan Black and Elementary because I can't do my normal watch-along wossname over IM given hometernot <3

8. ahhhhhhhhhhh part one of pre-Ancillary-Justice short story available!!!

9. Some science progress today in lab! And uh mostly lab-progress because I've spent the rest of the day going AAAAAAAAAAAAH SPACE ROBOTS and grinning ridiculously (rather than making algebra bend to my will) BUT more of that will occur tomorrow... and in fact this evening if I want to hit milestone goals from supervisor >_>

10. Osteopath yesterday morning positive. She was competent at going "... you want to be seeing an NHS hypermobility clinic, not me" and is telling the GP who referred to me so; she agrees that I obviously have hypermobility syndrome; and is impressed by my feet + ankles being basically fine given what my knees and elbows and hips are like. Have been given some hypermobility-focussed physio (practising balancing on one leg; do for both sides, 3x45s per leg per day, shut eyes if I can manage it, one finger only on supportive surface for balance; if doesn't cause problems, move up to balancing on ball of foot instead of foot flat to ground).


Tomorrow I have follow-up on the depression-related bloods, and tomorrow evening I have counselling...
kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
We're gonna test me for renal function, liver function, thyroid function, bone profile, ESR, zinc, iron, vitD, vitB12 and serum folate, and hope that something obvious shows up. GP treated me like an expert patient, trusted my self-report of my PHQ-9 result, and asked sensible questions & appeared to understand my answers. He also made the appropriate noises when I went "lol ESR you know that's gonna be suggestive of systemic inflammation rite".

We have also further discussed loratadine (in particular, how much I can play with the dosage; putting it on repeat; writing me a scrip for more) and my NSAIDs (other people are also getting bitten by the manufacturing issue with mef; he's moved me onto naproxen).

So I didn't get to talk about everything but I have another appt a week on Thursday to discuss results (and maybe sort out more prescriptions), so. Job done, until tomorrow morning at 8.50.

*facepalm*

Nov. 3rd, 2014 01:58 am
kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
Worst period pain in ages: yes, self, that is because you are currently on less-than-half-dose ibuprofen (because mefenamic acid supply problems; because insufficiently regular GP appointments; because lack of executive function/stubbornness combining to (1) prevent making a sooner appointment and (2) prevent buying more ibuprofen).

Really truly honestly there are reasons you are on every single med you take, really, and skipping any of them leads to you feeling worse, and that is why you still take them even though you resent it. Make NSAIDs a priority in tomorrow's GP appt, yeah? xx

Yep.

Jul. 30th, 2014 01:05 pm
kaberett: A drawing of a black woman holding her right hand, minus a ring finger, in front of her face. "Oh, that. I cut it  off." (molly - cut it off)
[personal profile] recessional on appearing high-functioning.

I've got a loosely-organised collection of around 10 people who remind me to do basic self-care, visit me so I have a reason to prepare food when my housemate's out, do the laundry, help make groceries happen, definitely who facilitate sleep, prompt me to do housework that makes me feel better (see yesterday's todo/tada), and so on, and so forth.

All of this is work. I am simultaneously much less and much more independently functional than I look.

Healthwork

Jul. 17th, 2014 04:57 pm
kaberett: a dalek stands at the foot of a flight of stairs, thinking "fuck." (dalek)
So far today:
  • e-mailed sleep log to counsellor
  • counselling
  • one difficult conversation
  • daylight lamp
  • eaten two meals
  • e-mailed the research group's mailing list asking people to do the thing to my samples I was unable to do today because I'm housebound
  • e-mailed my supervisor, see previous
  • e-mailed occupational health
  • read & responded to (helpful!!!) e-mail that just came in from my union rep, including a reply to her e-mail from yesterday to let her know I've contacted occupational health
  • e-mailed counsellor to set up next week's session
  • actually taken any of my meds
  • tracked down the way to request a slot at the walk-in clinic, tracked down opening times of walk-in slot, stuck reminder to self in diary, for sexual health screening
  • read e-mail union rep just sent to the building managers she's being amazing ;__________;
  • wrote first draft a letter to the DWP about how my situation's deteriorated since I made my application
Still to do:

  • work out how to summarise the impact my health issues have on my life for the GP
kaberett: Photo of a cassowary with head tilted to one side (cassowary)
Will give you money for it. I want something that does Android and will usefully run one of them sleep-monitoring apps - my counsellor wants me to keep a sleep diary (they pulled the face, you know the one, when I told them how long I can stay awake with amitriptyline and temazepam in my system) and I am grumpily trying to get my act together to be more compliant with my med schedule. I don't want it as an actual phone, I don't care how beat up it is, the more likely it is to survive for more than 5 minutes around me the better, smaller overall dimensions much more important to me than screen real estate.

Profile

kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
kaberett

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