kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
[personal profile] kaberett
I'd feral haunt the borders of my lands
with wild eyes staring and with bared clenched teeth
to bitter stake my claim to my domain:
I'd tolerate this trespassing no more.

And if I vicious clawed a hand that stretched
in friendship -- to feed or stroke or pet --
then still I'd count my loss less than my gain:
for I'd have shown that I alone here reign.

Yet 'lonely reign' is all too apt a phrase:
I find I'm wearied by the emptiness
that haunts my heart, that permeates my days.
I'm tired of fear; I'm tired of this distress.

I'm safe, I think, to throw open my gates
and to explore that which beyond them waits.

(no subject)

Date: 2013-12-29 05:57 pm (UTC)
raze: A man and a rooster. (Default)
From: [personal profile] raze
This one hits a heck of a chord with me; really well done. Also liked the... uh... poetry stuff to which I am not educated - rhythm and tempo and rhyme scheme.
alexseanchai: Purple lightning (Default)
From: [personal profile] alexseanchai
I find that I feel much the same.
But past my gates, uncharted lands.
The people there don't know my name.
Fear's comforting, and friendly hands
are unfamiliar to me. I
don't know how safe I'll be outside,
among strange faces, unknown skies.
alexseanchai: Purple lightning (Default)
From: [personal profile] alexseanchai

If I have reduced you to keysmashing I must have said something good.

(no subject)

Date: 2013-12-30 09:52 am (UTC)
vass: Jon Stewart reading a dictionary (books)
From: [personal profile] vass
I like this a lot. The first verse in particular really speaks to me.

It's kind of in dialogue with a song I like by Ani DiFranco (whom I'm currently really mad at), particularly the wistfulness; with the difference that the singer there is always outside, whereas you're defending your territory.

There's something about that last line - the scansion stumbles a little. I went back and counted and wondered "Wait, is that an Alexandrine? That'd be a neat pun," and then I read it aloud a couple of times, and it was plain iambic pentameter, I was just thrown by the stress shift on "that which".

(no subject)

Date: 2013-12-30 12:19 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] annalytica

(no subject)

Date: 2013-12-30 11:41 pm (UTC)
calissa: (Default)
From: [personal profile] calissa
I'm tired and down with a cold at the moment but have been struck with the desire to write something beautiful to answer this beauty. I expect it's not going to happen, but I wanted to thank you for sharing this. I loved the progression of emotion in this--the fierceness, weariness and hope.


kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)

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