kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
Hello! You are a person! You are probably lovely! I like people!

This journal ends up being a bit of a mix of Srs Business (rants; things I've learned from counselling; &c), fannish & scientific joy, linkspams, poetry, & misc life updates. I tag fairly compulsively, though not always helpfully; I use content notes; I have written up a cast of characters; I aim to maintain this as a safer space, and appreciate (but do not expect!) call-outs when I mess up.

I like it if you introduce yourself when you subscribe, but it's definitely not required. Probably 30% of this journal is access-locked; I give access very readily. Fanworks are always public; AO3 is the canonical place to find my list of works. I'm very happy for you to link to anything that's public, and I'll be even happier if you let me know you're doing it. :-)


permanent wishlist -- care & feeding () -- contact info ()

[archiveofourown.org profile] kaberett -- at the LashBlog -- [ravelry.com profile] kaberett -- BPAL.org -- kabe@rett.org.uk
kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
1. There is a blackbird nesting directly above our front door.

2. I was sufficiently sad on my way back from this afternoon's errands that I ended up buying a pair of sparkly metallic blue skinny jeans from a charity shop on my way home. It has a terrible blue faux-rhinestone button.

3. I have achieved food by dint of stopping off at a food market in the William Morris Square in Hammersmith. It was just closing up and apparently I looked sufficiently smallsad that aunty decided the correct response was two of onion bhaji. Consequently I have also taken some painkillers.

4. Sent scary e-mail #1 pulling out of teaching on Monday.

5. Sent scary e-mail #2 requesting some more bloody paperwork for the council.

6. E-mailed my supervisor a status update.

7. Booked an in-person GP appointment (it is not for a fortnight but I cannot in point of fact bring myself to care).

8. Printed out train tickets for this weekend.

9. Printed out some more benefits-related paperwork.

10. Washed and clothesed and spent some time outside.
kaberett: Blue-and-red welly boots on muddy ground. (boots)
... yesterday Charing Cross phoned me up to ask if I was okay moving my next appointment with them from the morning of the 7th of May to the afternoon of the 30th of April. Which, well, yes - but also if they'd given me any kind of sensible amount of notice on that, I'd have been able to (1) apply for a postal vote, (2) stay down in Cornwall for Furry Day, and (3) aid and abet my mum in Visiting my baby brother in Bristol on our way back up. As it is my aunt and I have train tickets that rely on my railcard bringing us back upcountry on the 6th, and I am Irritated.

okay no

Apr. 17th, 2015 04:33 pm
kaberett: Photo of a cassowary with head tilted to one side (cassowary)
I am legit more resentful than that about today's xkcd

if people would like to have a grump-in in comments here they are very welcome to

because what the fuck

(content note, if you haven't looked at it and are wondering: Read more... ) NOPE.)
kaberett: A sleeping koalasheep (Avatar: the Last Airbender), with the dreamwidth logo above. (dreamkoalasheep)
... as distinct from your blue-eyed boys feelings, which is my actual main fandom; by which I mean I am as I have mentioned in a few places getting around to watching the canon that forms the basis for the thing and, well, I'm really sad at the moment, and apparently this means I am watching the first boxset twice (or at least am watching TFA and Avengers twice). ERGO. AVENGERS FEELINGS.

Read more... )
kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
Read more... )

Things I have done today: food at sensible intervals, testing done at GP, meeting with supervisor, 45 minutes lying in Hyde Park in the sunshine reading, angry tumblring, emptying dishwasher, more sleep, e-mailed counsellor about sitch, etc.
kaberett: a watercolour painting of an oak leaf floating on calm water (leaf-on-water)
klar, dass sind nur Träumen
und dass sind nicht deinen
dass sind meinen
doch die funktionieren dafur
(Virginia Jetzt!)

On good days it's progress. On bad days it's submission. ([personal profile] recessional)

(I was explaining to [personal profile] sebastienne earlier that I don't have much by way of volition at the moment; wanting things is something people get to have, not something I deserve. So, yes, I'm substituting other people's judgment for my own at the moment, but what this means in practice is that the gulf of knowledge-not-belief is one I will cross - or perhaps, merely, not be swallowed by - on the tightrope of other people believing for and about me, for now. I don't think this is a healthy long- or even medium-term strategy; I do think that at the moment it is less bad than my other options. And, importantly, so far as I am ceding judgment and decisions to others, it's people I know will hold them in trust for me, to be returned when they're a load I can bear again without breaking.)
kaberett: A photograph of a dark-grey train with white cogs painted on the side, with a bit of station roof visible above. (trains)
Periodically I will have a lot of FEELINGS about something at someone, and will get to the end of the feelingsdump, and say, somewhat sheepishly, "... I HAD A LOT OF FEELINGS sorry".

Facesfriend is in the habit of responding - rather drily - "gosh, how unlike you."

This exchange happened earlier today. (In this instance the topic was Explaining The Manics to him; over the past couple of weeks topics I have Had A Lot Of Feelings About include comparative bus etiquette, the second world war, the Green Party boyband video, the RNLI, space robots, etc.) And it finally twigged that no, actually, I do think of it as Unlike Me and something sufficiently out of the ordinary to be apologised for, and this is probably because I spent at least ages 13 to 21 with untreated severe depression, and one of the symptoms of my depression is generally anhedonia, and I just... am not even a tiny bit used to being able to experience intense positive emotion at the drop of a hat. It's strange and unsettling and I don't know what to do with it.

It's very disconcerting to learn that's not how others perceive me, these days. Internalities and externalities.
kaberett: Photo of a pile of old leather-bound books. (books)
Max Gladstone, Last First Snow
Seanan McGuire, A Red-Rose Chain (September)
Seanan McGuire, Indexing 2
Ann Leckie, Ancillary Mercy (October?)
John Scalzi, The End Of All Things (~August IIRC)
Nnedi Okorafor, Akata Witch #2 (tentatively 2015)
Ken Liu, The Grace of Kings (April)

Doesn't look like Dia Reeves has anything planned to come out soon, grump. There is another Hunter Kiss novel (released last year) I get to read for brain-candy, hurrah.

If I try to make this up to Ten Good Things I will be late for counselling so I guess I'd best head off, but I would not object to recs.
kaberett: A drawing of a black woman holding her right hand, minus a ring finger, in front of her face. "Oh, that. I cut it  off." (molly - cut it off)
In small text in the middle of a banner, approx:

  If you're reading this,
         you're inquisitive. Free thinking.
You're curious about other perspectives,
     determined to develop your own.

Or you thought this was one of those
                 Poems on the Underground.

... for theguardianmembership. They have absolutely met their target audience, and know exactly what they are doing.
kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
1. Dinner last night (and lunch today) was a modified version of Smitten Kitchen's baked chickpeas with pita chips and yoghurt. I am delighted that I now have The Knowledge Of The Pita Chips, which I adore but have not been able to find at prices that don't make me cry in this country, and we consumed the lot. Variations were: I couldn't face acquiring tahini to make up the yoghurt dressing as described and just ate yoghurt; I also didn't bother with the pine nuts. The salad-y thing was equal volumes tomato, cucumber and parsley, and I didn't bother dressing it. (I really like parsley.) It was tasty. Would eat again.

2. Via [personal profile] inoru_no_hoshi on the tweetrz, an exciting ScienceDaily summary of a Nature Geosciences paper on the topic of iron, the Earth, how it got here, and why it is where it is. tl;dr the vaporisation pressure of iron is significantly lower than we thought it was, which is why the Moon has sod-all of the stuff and not all of it on Earth has ended up in the core, even with the Late Veneer. There is the truism that Nature Geosciences papers are always wrong (extensible to some extent to Nature itself), but this looks pretty exciting to me.

3. My favourite band are releasing a new album called Elevator Music and it makes me cry every single time. It is bitter and vicious and cynical about the space age and space exploration and generation ships and existentialism and forgettability, and I adore it. The Last Man Who Walked On The Moon breaks my heart every single time, even the first time they played it in public and Simon warned us in advance that he hadn't finished writing the lyrics yet and did indeed end up singing "something something something something -ation" in the middle, because -- soon there will be no-one/left that I can call/just space suits in museums/with mission details on the wall. And then breath/they simulate our breath/to make us feel at home. And. This band.

4. Dave Hughes and the Renegade Folk Punk Band have also just released a new album, Rise, Again. I have not got my act together to listen to it yet (see also: depression), but expect to find it comforting, because I love a lot of what these folk do. (Currently the lyric of theirs stuck in my head is is it a love song/if I tell you that I love you/but I can't see me sharing your bed?//though there are days/when I don't think of you/they rarely outnumber/those I do...)

5. P thought it important I meet this baffling collection of photographs of unspoons.

6. Music I have particularly enjoyed recently: Singzu Joint - Fly and this one Taiwanese music video about marriage equality (has English subs; warning: WILL MAKE YOU CRY)


Mar. 31st, 2015 10:10 pm
kaberett: Toph making a rock angel (toph-rockangel)
So like I am super fond of Strong Female Protagonist, a webcomic about a retired 20ish superhero and her ADVENTURES in LIFE. Today's strip has the alt text Go back even farther, teach trilobites how to dance!



is just the most perfect thing ever

kaberett: a watercolour painting of an oak leaf floating on calm water (leaf-on-water)
1. I have MORE FEELINGS about Jupiter Ascending, and Jupiter's agency, and biology-as-theology, and learning to trust yourself. Would any of you have any interest in me typing them up here?

2. Poaching stonefruit in spiced white wine syrup continues pretty much my favourite thing. (The deal is: you dump misc spices - I tend towards some mixture of cardamom, allspice, clove, cinnamon, nutmeg, occasionally bay - and sugar, preferably vanilla, and white wine, and halved stone-fruit, and their pits, in an ovenproof dish; and then you bake 'em covered at 180ish for as long as you can be bothered with, and they are delicious.)

3. ... facesfriend keeps insisting on buying me pretty much any foodstuff I look at briefly in a shop and then move on from because it's not a thing I feel comfortable getting into the habit of buying, from an augh-my-finances point of view, and. I just feel ridiculously spoiled. (I mean, it means that yesterday for dinner he got kale chips + peas-and-carrot-curry-ish + lemon rice + poached peaches, and today he got kale chips + wine-braised-fennel quiche + boiled potatoes + steamed broccoli + poached plums, so he asserts he's doing pretty well out of the deal, but hey. Spoiled. Yes.)

4. I have caved and am borrowing the first six MCU films from facesfriend, the better to understand your blue-eyed boys & related works. (This led to me having a very earnest discussion over breakfast about all of the bits of MCU trivia I have acquired via tumblr-catalysed osmotic processes).

5. ... in related "domestic bliss" news, I spent some of this afternoon very happily singing along to the Indelicates while turning dried rosemary branches into a more useful-for-storage form factor.

6. Sunshine. I am so enjoying the evenings getting longer.

7. Hot beverages in general; hot chocolate in specific. (My current favourite, as I believe I have mentioned: hazelnut milk, dark chocolate/cocoa of some description, allspice, cinnamon.) Relatedly: milk pans. (I wants one, precious.)

8. I am doing a very, very relaxing comfort-reread of some pulpy urban fantasy that is full of chosen family kicking arse and looking out for each other. Yes Good basically.

9. I finished the Möbius scarf! Photographs to follow when I get my act together. It's a simple reversible lace that I more-or-less made up as I went along; it is big and snuggly and very adjustable for whether I'm on the tube or in an ICY BLAST and hurrah.

10. I have spent the weekend mostly actually having a breathing space from work, and it has been utterly lovely.


kaberett: Overlaid Mars & Venus symbols, with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)

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